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This is why she is my best friend.

This is why she is my best friend.

Just gave myself a one-armed sponge bath with what I belatedly realized was a pot holder (not a washcloth) so I could avoid getting my armpit diaper wet

It’s been over 24 hours since my last shower and I’m starting to get the shakes. Can NOT wait until I get my gauze/tape mess removed on Thursday.

On the bright side- my surgeon prescribed me Percocet.

I’ve had worse Mondays.

I’ve had worse Mondays.

I’ve officially given up on caring about my job

I kinda would rather get fired so I can legit not feel bad about waiting tables full time and making 3x the money, but I care too much about our mission to let everything fall apart around me.

So I will show up every day and do what I need to to keep us going, but I’ll be fucked if I’m going to overexert myself for these people.

Seacrest out, y’all.

If any of my board members found my blog, I would be fucked

Good thing I’ve got one foot out the door.

Also- idioms are fun.

My therapist asked me why I hold myself to a much higher standard than other people

I told her that if I knew the answer, I probably wouldn’t be sitting in her office.

Just found out my grandparents had their wedding reception at the park across the street from our house.

T’is the nature of the beast, I suppose.

Yesterday was a good day. Yesterday was a REALLY good day. I accomplished so much and had my “get my shit together” mojo working. I was so excited when I went to sleep last night because imagine what I could accomplish if I had a whole day to myself!

Then I woke up this morning and it was business as usual and the only thing I actually did today was change my bedsheets.


"Too many books?" I believe the phrase you’re looking for is "not enough bookshelves".


should not have engaged with milpool's racist ass cousin on facebook but i like making myself go insane i guess

This is why I unfriended cousin Mike. And also he’s just an all-around douchebag.